Improving on the lamentations of a distraught Alexandrian
Neglecting to say “Fuck you” can infuriate the best of men but it exalts the darkest side of Loki. Did the Worldbreaker deny such infamy to Shakespeare? If so, he let his poncy characters do the talking. Violeta whines in Twelfth Night ,
“I hate ingratitude more in a man / Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, / Or any taint of vie whose strong corruption / Inhabits our frail blood.”
Shakespeare wasn’t finished. His King Lear thundered,
“Ingratitude! thou marble-hearted fiend, / More hideous when thy show’st thee in a child / Than the sea-monster.”
Not all of us, fortunately, are so painfully stung by ingratitude. Benjamin Franklin apparently took it more in stride, observing that,
“Most people return small favors, acknowledge medium ones and repay greater ones—with ingratitude.”
Yes, most of YOU Alexandrians have felt some sting from the ingratitude of Maxine Sanders and even held an olive branch for her after she and Mrs. Day-Howard first arranged said sycophant’s boyfriend to beat her to a pulp and then helping him get scot free so he could go and breed with his new squeeze abroad.
That’s typical Alexandrian, isn’t? It’s how shit has turned round and round in your fucking ‘community’ since day one. On the other hand only I took her for what she was worth (basically less than NOTHING) and wiped my arse with the hem of her skirt and your entire fucking pseudo-religion.
“Often the hurt is remembered and experienced anew many years after the offence” – YOU say and then ask: “For the sake of our equanimity and peace of mind, what ought we to understand about ingratitude?”
Oh, dear writer, I strongly advise you to speak for yourself and yours. It is YOU who don’t understand your state of subjugation, your weakness. It is your wretched self-esteem that suffers and craves for what your unoriginal mind cannot create for itself and so you think you can pollute with your nailed-to-the-cross-Christo-moral-goody-two-shoes-all-concerned-crap. You don’t how to deal with it. You’re a slave crucified by your own substandard mentality and emotional impulses. Your fake altruism nails you to the cross your carry on you back. You need someone to impress, someone to ally yourself with. Stand on your own and you are nothing. I understand, not everyone is born with witchblood but hasn’t anyone told you? Witches are born, not made. It’s not your fault if without your Alexandrian crutches you have no god to turn to but let me tell you something, I’m not doing all this for weaklings like you. What you did here was not smart.
And let me put it to you nicely: you do not belong with this company, so scuttle back to your Hidden Children to lick your wounds because mewling quims won’t be needed here.
But let’s go on reading and rectifying this bullshit
“King Lear’s “hideous” disgust for a child’s ingratitude is misplaced” – that’s what you might have read on some regressive liberal website you visit.
“Young children quite naturally have little sense of gratitude. They tend to take for granted the benefits of food, clothes, toys, and loving kindness. Seeing this ingratitude, parents sometimes wonder if they’re spoiling their children. Children are often prodded: “Say thank you now!” They say the words but don’t necessarily register the feelings. Their inability to feel gratitude is based in the nature of childhood consciousness. Young children take for granted the ‘good’ that they receive because, in their acute self-centeredness, they tend to believe the benefits are self-bestowed. The benefits are also experienced as an entitlement or even a right. At the same time, young children are quick to feel that any refusals from others, or experiences of deprivation, are offences against them and even acts of malice. In the still undeveloped mind of a child, everything that’s good is self-bestowed, while everything bad comes from the outside.”
Clearly, you’ve had your brain thoroughly shampooed and conditioned by internet articles on modern parenting you found on the Internet and that’s where it shows you’re not even past the bottom rung of magical understanding. Childhood consciousness is hardly symonymous with acute self-centredness, you ignorant Christo-pagan.
Adults who, like Maxine Sanders, are chronically ungrateful are still operating, at least in part, through this childish irrational point of view. Going by her own accounts in her auto-biography ‘Firechild’, neurosis developed as she emerged out of childhood still largely under the influence of irrational, negative perceptions and emotional associations experienced through her violent father and unbalanced mother.
Do you know why Maxine and no Alexandrian ever took those liberties with me? I never followed anyone else’s orders. Everyone always knew I fundamentally didn’t give a fuck about your hierachies. The first thing I did was to break the non-socialising rule and every single fucking rule after that. Oh, they did try to fuck with me because of that, and look what happened: from one day to the next someone found himself sitting alone on heap of rubble where his temple used to be. I took everything they threw at me and I turned it to my benefit, re-writing the whole fucking Gospel. That’s called alchemy, stupid amateur. YOU, on the other hand do as you’re told. When you’re told to jump, you reply: “How high?” I would probably do the same as Maxine, if you weren’t such a parasited lot. Suffice to say, I don’t condemn her for living up to true nature of your goddess and making you squirm, which by the way has nothing to do with her upbringing. She simply sees right through your desperation and cosplayer attire and plays you all, Mrs. Howard-Day included, to her own gratification and convenience.
“In varying degrees, neurosis is widespread through the adult population, and it accounts for much of the dysfunction, malice, and stupidity—along with extremist beliefs and self-defeating behaviours that burden life.”
PMSL! That’s rich, coming from you lot!
“Within a context of magical initiation, neurosis is overcome through a process of acquiring self-knowledge and thereby seeing ourselves more objectively.”
What the fuck do you even know of initiation? Do you think that taking a NLP course is going to make you sound like one?
“This did not happen with Maxine Sanders who remains, to this day, stuck in self-defeating patterns from the past, such as ingratitude towards those who loyally supported her when her life hit rock bottom.”
“You mention that some of the initiates’ training is “lacking.” We are wondering how exactly do you access this information?”
Bloody hell, it ain’t that difficult. Just look at the stupid (illegal) stunts you pull and the crap you write. Just what the fuck were you hoping to find here? My fucking confessions?
“Seriously. FB is bad for my intelligence sometimes.”
Indeed. Sorita is one hell of a turnip even off Facebook. It’s just more noticeable when she’s online.
“Proud of myself. Managed 15 mins on the phone with a “Windows Scammer” who was trying to show me my “viruses”. 15 mins they were not spending on someone more gullible, and strangely entertaining while I was having my porridge and coffee ”
Shit does tend to attract flies, Sorita.
Now, listen to this….
Preparing books to be shipped for Avalonia (avaloniabooks.co.uk) this morning – and although it is gorgeous outside the office window today (sunshine!) I am tempted to hand-deliver some of the orders, especially those going to Hawaii; Bolivia; Brazil; Ecuador; Peru; Australia; Jamaica; and other wondrous sounding HOT places!
Maybe I should do crowdfunding to do exactly that one of these days, it would be so much fun to deliver books in person and meet all the people who actually read the books I write or publish!
Sponging a free holiday off people so she can have so much fun in hot place at your expense? Surely there can’t be so many stupid people who would put themselves out of pocket so she can go on holiday and have fun at their expense and on top of that make a nice little earning on the back of authors she doesn’t even pay. Maybe Emily Carding’s sugar daddy might write her a check if she’s extra ‘nice’ to him/them. The beauty of this is that Sorita and her wanky friends come on my platform to claim the moral high ground on Maxine Sanders calling her “neurotic adult dependent (sic.)”. What does that make Sorita? – aside a low end of the market ponce. Oh, yes, I nearly forgot about this. Intelligent choice for Sorita. I’m sure he can’t wait to kiss her precious arse in the way she expects it. Well, it’s either that or she’ll have to come off a peg or two and swallow all that vanity reflux.
Surely, she could roll her sleeves up and earn the money herself but I suspect it’s her way of proving to Maxine she is better at manipulating and scrounging from her worshipper without hearing a single complaint. But that’s nice to know, isn’t it? While her fans think the sun shines out of her arse, all she sees in them is a cash machine that will enable her to get a free holiday. That’s wicca for you. They’ve never seen a penny from me and never will. But yeah, I agree with your self-assessment Sorita, you’re not very intelligence.
But that’s because the poor old septegenarian mite is consumed alive by a parasite thrice the size of one of the dinosaurs Mrs. Howard-Day sees in her flights of fancy. Courtesy of that nonce of her ex-husband you all still drool about and would gladly part the cheeks of your arse wide open for. That’s right, Maxine is fucked her about really, a sacrificial token in this life and let me tell you, in her shoes I’d strip you to the bone too. She knows it, lives with it and makes the best of what’s been and her captivity in a gilded cage, unlike you entitled vermin, who will be left forever in chains, wondering who wishes you an interesting life.
“When people paused, she supplied her own questions with a gentle mocking smile. British Wiccans were among the most prudish, judgemental hypocritical people, she said… she wondered if any looking at their FB friends list realised how many of their Wiccan priestly chums were rapists? At least half, she assured the shocked room…‘Have you ever seen images of the horned god?’ She asked me.
‘Yes, many,’ I supplied.
‘Then you have your answer.’
An answer indeed! It was perfect for setting right in my mind the images of the Wiccan deities; the God is a goatish creature of lust, the Goddess a paragon of youth and perfection. The parallel between the above idea and the story of the older, pleasant but distinctly plain Alex Sanders and the 15 year old beautiful girl he met and made his high priestess and wife is very clear.”
“Ingratitude can be seen in Maxine Sanders’ inability or unwillingness to be generous with words and feelings. There are many ways she shows to be ungrateful, and often they’re unconscious. For example, Maxine feels she can’t be happy unless she gets more benefits or money. She never feels she has enough.”
But, hey, she dedicated a whole article about music in the Craft, so join me in singing her a song from her former days of glory…Ahhh these darn Skandies and their heathen gods!
“Maxine Sanders belongs to one particular class of ingrates—neurotic adult dependents”—who, like Sorita D’Este, live parasitically on the back of others (in this case the Alexandrian community of initiates and seekers) in the expectation of being taken care of and having the shit wiped off her arse. These insignificant leeches, “rather than being grateful to their providers, frequently experience bitter disappointment and complain incessantly for what they see as the lack of generosity and support bestowed upon them” by fools too stupid to realise they’re being taken for a ride.
Not only do they return all the arse-kissing the receive with passive ingratitude, they return it with accusatory discontent. In their view, the world owes them a living. They can be quick to spread the agony of their neurosis around to any weakling of spirit within their range. In that respect, they are no different from Maxine Sanders. Before Loki’s Gazette opened the can of worms (and the gates of initiatory wicca for many other barbaric witchcraft practitioners to plunder and conquer) these same arseholes were doing exactly what they accuse Maxine of doing to them to seekers and lower rank initiates. Now you get a taste of your own medicine.
“Adult dependents, or “dependees,” can’t accept or appreciate kindness because, unconsciously, they’re determined to continue to live through the feeling of not being adequately taken care of. In childhood, Maxine Sanders often felt abused, neglected and unappreciated. In Firechild, she writes of wishing her father dead in spite of (going by her account) being the one who handed her over to a mystrious group of people who put her through a magical initiation at the tender age or 15.
Victim shaming. Yep, that would be something Geraldine Oxenham would say.
Consciously, she lived in painful disappointment (as you are right now as matter of fact), while unconsciously she clinged stubbornly to the old hurt of feeling refused and neglected by choosing to become. This inner conflict created an acute form of self-sabotage which characterised the rest of her life: she was determined, unconsciously, to display to others and to the world just how badly, in her subjective assessment, the world had treated her whilst at the same time project a sense of magical ordeal over certain events.”
Everybody knows her initiation at 15 was as fictitious as Alex’s grandmother story. I bet your mothers and fathers gave you all a fabulous upbringing, judging by the people you’ve pledged your oaths to. Now, you sling mud and yet continue to call yourselves Alexandrians. To state the obvious, she didn’t have a choice to the parents she got but YOU chose of your own volition to be blindly loyal to someone, deep down, you do not respect. She’s not holding you ransom. Nobody is stopping you from walking out. You can put down your shitty titles and badges and forge your own way, but you don’t, therefore that makes you either hopelessly stupid or dependent on someone to scapegoat for your iniquities. Probably both.
“Through her self-centeredness or egotism, someone like Maxine Sanders can feel reduced in stature at the idea of being dependent on the goodness and protection of others. She resists feeling gratitude because feeling it acknowledges her dependence on a circle of life beyond her self-centeredness. Maxine Sanders often clings to an illusion of self-sufficiency. To acknowledge the other and to express gratitude can feel to her like a further weakening of her fragile sense of self. She could never allow herself to feel obligated or beholding to the benefactor. It can feel as if the benefactor now has the upper hand and is taking satisfaction in feeling superior. Ingratitude becomes a passive-aggressive withholding, a kind of retaliation, and a way of saying, “I am self-sufficient! I don’t need you!”
The goodness and protection of others? LOL. You read too many fantasy novels (like Dunes… Moronic escapists. You even think yourself intelligent.)
Boo-hoo. You’re not indispensable little blossom. If you’ve been there long enough to be an authority on Maxine’s childhood, it can be reasonably presumed you’ve seen many others come and go and be dispatched to the summerlands. What made you think your turn would never come? And to put it concisely ….
“Ingrates can simply refuse to acknowledge a benefactor because the benefactor, in being kind and good, is perceived by the neurotic person as somehow being weak. Neurotics are frequently submissive toward someone who is perceived to be stronger, while aggressive toward someone seen as weak. So the benefactor is treated with aggression—or passive-aggressive coldness—rather than gratitude.
You seem to take (her) lack of gratitude like a personal affront. Since you make out yourself to be the stronger person, what the fuck is wrong with your self-esteem?
People can often feel gratitude in a religious way as they “commune” with a higher power, while at the same time they’re unwilling to feel or express gratitude to another human being. They’re using religion to justify if not exalt themselves (“the higher power recognizes and loves me”), but they can’t bear through their egotism to “lower themselves” to acknowledge their fundamental, terrestrial dependence on the goodwill of everyday people.”
I think that what you really do not understand are the ways of the world. You gave without Maxine asking anything of you. She simply behaved as if you owed her and YOU, being the stupid morons that you’ve just proved yourselves to be, bled yourself dry thinking you were smarter than so called ‘muggles’. Your idea of gratefulness translates to indebted and that’s where you fall flat on your face because where there is no explicit request for what you hand out, there is no debt. So, do yourself a favour and get up from the floor. Your temper tantrum is taking you nowhere. Truth be told, I never heard Maxine coming out with: (“the higher power recognizes and loves me”). Now, that would be what you find on Sorita D’Este’s Facebook wall when she’s not attention-whoring about being cyber-bullied. Let me break this down to you with a better quote than poxy B. Franklin…
“Many religions consider ingratitude to be sinful.” – you say?
Oh, just fuck off!
It’s perceived this way because, in part, the unconscious willingness of many people to identify with the alleged lack of value in others and in life itself produces inner guilt (the impression that one is doing a bad thing and deserves to be punished). Rather than see ingratitude as a sin, it’s more helpful to see it as a blind spot in self-awareness or as a “sin” against oneself. Ingratitude is a measure of how little we feel the wonder of our own existence.
Finally, let’s look at how, like King Lear or Viola, we (which is actually YOU) can manage to get triggered so much by the ingratitude of others. There’s no need, of course, to get triggered by the behavior of ingrates, because, as we’ve seen above, their behaviors have nothing to do with us personally. (Wrong. It is often because of you PERSONALLY. Your pedantic evangelical interference makes you insufferable garbage.)When we do get triggered, it’s because it feels to us that they aren’t recognizing our value or appreciating us. The sense is that what we have given to them or what we might mean to them is not valued, and we take that personally. Our painful reaction means that we ourselves are resonating with the feeling of lacking in value.
Your painful reaction is a symptoms something is off with your motives. Good deeds with strings attached are like pants with skidmarks.
We’re (YOU ARE) making an
unconscious choice to go there and feel that negative impression, even though it’s not true that we (YOU) are, in any intrinsic way, lacking in value.
we (YOU) wish to overcome this emotional weakness, and thereby refrain from needless suffering, we (YOU)only need to recognize and work out (Y)our emotional attachment to feelings of unworthiness. Common the world over, it’s an old impression that lingers from childhood, and (Y)our consciousness can dispel it put it into perspective.
Of fuck, I thought this fucking Welsh shippie was done with this shit….but no, here comes the best bit…
“Gratitude is felt, in its most sincere rendition, when we connect with our goodness and sense of intrinsic value. We’re grateful for the pleasure of this consciousness, and we’re grateful to anyone or anything that has helped us to enhance it. Gratitude becomes, instead of an obligation to others or an effort that seems to detract from one’s self, an integral part of our pleasure in life.”
Now I’m left wondering…..