In yesterday’s Daily Mail, London based media-witch Carrie Kirkpatrick was reported to have issued Angelina Jolie with a warning against using spells to win Brad back.
In a feature article published for the newspaper’s Femail magazine – a weekly supplement aimed specifically at women – Carrie urged Angelina to stop dabbling in magic after noting the couple had a mutual tattooing session and commenting
“It was a symbolic effort to bind their marriage, but it failed because she was forcing them to stay together.”
The first thought to come to mind was – ‘Does she know them’? And I mean actually know them in person and with the intimacy of a close family member or confidant.
The second question was – ‘Did they specifically contacted her for advice or is she using them as a pretext to draw attention to herself and her trade?
Third – what message was being subtly conveyed to women? Is the desire of finding a solution to retain the integrity of marriage really become more unvirtuous than to give up and let go when the going gets tough? Do relationship breakdowns warrant the encroachment from outsiders on individual privacy? Would the public be influenced to superimpose celebrity narratives on their own lives and seek out alternative methods to confront and deal with emotional turmoil when a relationship hits the rocks or is over?
I’m reflecting on the article from with the outlook of someone who wiccans like Kirkpatrick castigated me for being a bad influence, too left hand path and walking out on their shitty initiatory tradition at a time when being left hand path, flouncing and renouncing was not yet in vogue.
Of course, Wicca is just another soporific farm for the human animal unfit for the unpredictability of wilderness but there were some formative lessons in it, like not dropping the guard around peddlers of false beliefs who claim there’s a price for everything and anyone who uses the word ‘ego’ against another while wearing tinfoil goddess crowns and stag antlers on their head.
The first magical rule of the thumb for any magical practitioner is ‘to know’ or open their eyes. To know is the temptation of the Eden serpent. Eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge. And how else would anyone sink their teeth in its fruit if not by breaking the rules? The wiccan interpretation is buy every latest occult release, skim through it, shelve it, write about how many books you own on social media, listen to what your favourite big name Poohbah witch tells you to do, obey and repeat what they tell you like a parrot. This latter is merely an illusion of knowledge. You cannot pass knowledge and wisdom. You cannot obtain it from another. You must break rules, taboos, boundaries of your own accord and will. I can appreciate there are enough contraindications to put most people off from even entertaining the thought in their imagination. That’s why the Craft, the Mark of Cain is not for everyone – which is to be respected. We’re not all born equal. Kirkpatrick and Jolies are not equal. One is an overweight single mother struggling to make ends meet as a white witch and goes to sleep alone in her North London flat at night. The other is a statuesque mother who alone could lavish on her brood and shared the bed in a lush Hollywood mansion with every woman’s wet dream. She’s got twins with the man. It doesn’t matter if they split as a couple. Their kids have forever bound them for life.
So, what motivates the Carrie Kirkpatricks of this world in wanting to benevolently step in with celebrity advice and share on a national newspaper a Hathor spell for Halloween? For the uninitiated pagan enthusiast, Hathor represents a benevolent goddess of love from Ancient Egypt. Its destructive aspect is brushed under the carpet of omission to lure the reader into buying in the belief that by carrying out the spell as suggested, they will safely dip into the pool and bring the right person along in a neat placebo effect. There is no danger for the uninitiated reader to accidentally summon Hathor and open any portal to the ortherworld (even at Halloween) but it will give them the illusion of doing so just the same, from the safety of their playpen. Then they will search Carrie Kirkpatrick online wanting for more, find Psychic TV, book a tarot reading session, attend a workshop and so on and so forth. Spiritual counselling can be an endorphins releasing degenerative drug as addictive and intoxicating as pornography. It preys on the emotionally sick and spiritually lost from any social class and walks of life. One dose and they won’t be able to take a shit before turning another tarot card. That’s how Psychic chat-lines can afford £150 a week advertising space whilst also paying wages to staff and upkeeping business utilities. Carrie Kirkpatrick knows the potential of the market out there.
The pretence of knowledge coupled with a few witchy credentials published in the national media are the hook, line and sink she needs to give her business a seasonal boost. One man’s despair is another man’s cash.
Carrie Kirkpatrick warns Angelina Jolie
As with all the people we view from afar, we actually know nothing about the nature of Pitt and Jolie’s break up from what’s being reported in the media nor we know their true personalities.
Unless we are intimately close to the person we are trying to advise or warn, there are going to be severe limitations to what we can perceive of the larger picture. Generally speaking, the impressions that come from the media become fixed in the minds of people like astral thought forms – although based on an illogical leap fueled by gossip and innuendo – and feel as real as any relationship that might have been experienced first-hand.
And so, in true fairytale fashion, the universal story that society adopts brands its characters as they step into the limelight: evil temptress seduces handsome prince and tries to hold him prisoner with magical filters; handsome prince fights the monster disguised as a beutiful woman. The illogical suggestion on which Carrie Kirkpatrick constructs her first her argument and then her publicity, could be summarised as such: Brad and Jennifer Aniston were happy until crazy Angelina seduced him with dark magic. She has a weird relationship with her family, and she broke up with Billy Bob because she was too strange even for him. Therefore, Brad and Angelina were never meant to last; Brad realised she’s weird and dangerous and once he’ll break away he will live happily ever after. The moral of her story sprays toxic smoke on all that has been known from the dawn of mankind. So nothing is fair in love and war; worry about how others might see you; never try to save your marriage; deny and repress your feelings, become something you’re not, put your hopes in the willy-nilly and be grateful for accepting second best and an unlived life.
In fairytales good always triumphs over evil, which perhaps explains why an overwhelmingly majority of people believe Angelina deserves to become the crucible. The tabloids do not plant these thoughts but they simply feed on a mass delusion based on narratives we create for ourselves and are perpetuated by attention-hungry spooks. Carrie Kirkpatrick’s warnings are heavily laced with judgemental projections towards Angelina and comes across as secretly taking pleasure in the imminent disintegration of her marriage to Brad Pitt – bringing the cauldron of schadenfreude to the boil for the Femail magazine with teasing to the surface typically ‘femail’ issues of insecurity, rivalrly, self-esteem, image and seething resentment against the lucky ones – in short, your typical client in need of psychic advice and tarot readings.
“It’s all about the sex with Angelina” continues Kirkpatrick, “and by that I mean the power she can exert over a man. This is like an elixir, the ultimate possession.”
Actually, it’s all about sex with the universe. The gods she worships fucked everything that walk, so what’s wrong with Angelina exerting power over a man? Does Carrie really think that any hot blooded male would mind taking Brad’s place if they could?
This acidity is typical of the sexually starved woman on the brink of menopause. Regular sexual activity is important for the physical and psychological wellbeing as are a balanced diet and exercise. It’s not enough to emasculate heterosexual males and chastise those who resist by branding them potential rapists. We must now distrust a woman’s sexual power to attract the opposite gender and inspire desire. The woman who can effortlessly win the love of any man she sets her eyes on must be demonised, according to third wave feminist canon, for she can only do so because of black magic. And then, the paradoxical spat, as if out to break the spirit of anyone with the curiosity of giving it a try: black magic doesn’t work. What would Kirkpatrick know. She’s a white witch. A fortune teller.
The problem with fortune tellers is that they always think they have another’s intentions all worked out, inciting people to think the worst of others then huffing, puffing and rolling their eyes as they look at their client with patronising disdain while they pull any shred of hope from under their feet, hence the black magic mumbo-jumbo when someone like Angelina refuses to go down.
In Giuseppe Tornatore’s film, Malena, Monica Bellucci gives an accurate rendition of the female sensuality archetype which makes many women quiver with seething rage and vitriolic envy. Malena is the story of a beautiful woman living in a village in Sicily. It is WWII and her husband is away at war. She lives alone in a remote house outside the village. At night, she abandons herself to her fantasies and longings, dancing and dreaming in privacy…well, not so private since her young admirers are often lurking in the darkness stealing glances at her in a nightgown.
During the day she walks quietly to the village where she is ritually subjected to blatant gawking by youths and aged alike, lewd remarks and the cruel gossip of both spiteful jealous women and lustful, yet self-preserving, men. Eventually, the women of the village, fueled by their long standing jealousy for Malena, drag her out savagely into the city square. There, they furiously stab, stone, punch, shave and beat her under the silent, watchful eye of the men. In this scene, the indignance that these self-righteous, shrieking women supposedly feel towards a traitor is but a sham. It is a pretext for their jealousy and their deep-seated need to destroy someone they have always seen as a threat.
Likewise, in her interview to the Daily Mail, Carrie Kirkpatrick (a plain, overweight, long standing singleton) drags Angelina Jolie to the dock for the sorority to project all their insecurities and hatred against a beautiful woman who may well symbolise anything from what they envy in others to a rival who seduced their lover/partner away from them. She then proceeds on smearing all sort of fabrications and speculations about her interest in the occult on Jolie’s morality and character, under the pretext of giving advice. Kirkpatrick has most likely spent long enough on the rim of the gutter to understand what threats perturb her clients and how to draw them to her.
A self-confessed soul short-changed by nature, the fortune teller has to make up for her wounds somehow, thus resorts to see villains wherever there is self-possessed beauty and power. Because they don’t have either, they must distort beauty and power and re-destribute them like alms to the poor. Suffering is no longer arbitrary and vindicated with noble purpose because the modern sing-song is that people must be soothed with what they want to hear.
If you choose to look at their relationship objectively, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were happy and settled with their six children over a period of 12 years. Despite being under an almost unbearable media spotlight and under the constant pursuit by paparazzi, their careers and relationship blossomed. They both did admirable humanitarian work, with Jolie being named UNHCR goodwill ambassador in 2001. Instead of celebrating the rare success of a Hollywood couple, people allow vultures in search of media exposure to encroach on marital disputes, single out the archetypical temptress and pour all their inadequacies, frustrations and insecurities over it with the intent of instigating waves of condemnation and a mass orgy of hatred in the name of womanly sexless virtue and frigid neo-puritanism.
Carrie uses Angelina’s interest in magical practices to emphasise the moral disparity between herself and the Hollywood star. She takes the moral high ground in spite of proposing spells involving calling on a goddess who couldn’t be more far removed in culture and time from Western civilisation. Then irony of ironies, goes on to disparage Jolie as a dabbler who misappropriates talismans from other cultures and employs blood and ashes from cremated bats in the bid of binding men to herself whilst conveniently ignoring that the respectively 5 years and 12 years long relationships were anything but the one-sided caprice of a woman lacking the attributes to find love by any other means than magic. Back in 2012, Bob Thornton mused in retrospection over the end of his relationship with Angelina Jolie during an interview on ABC show, The Nightline. “I blew it because I didn’t think I was good enough for her”, he said. That’s hardly what a man bound against his will would say nine years after his divorce.
Perhaps Angelina has trained in Hoodoo/Voodoo. Perhaps not. We are not privy of the most intimate details of her daily life. Either way, she doesn’t try to make a business out of it, so what’s it to do with anyone? When fame is of global proportions, as with Angelina and Brad, there’s no need to lean on hocus pocus to stir sensation. Besides, ancestral traditions have gained popular interest for being as notoriously low key as to have none of that load of old cobblers that weigh wiccans down. The wagging finger is a residue of the post Satanic Panic moralising attitude Wicca developed in order to survive, which lately has started to fizzle out again in favour of ruthlessness and flashing its crotch in public, shoulder to shoulder with satanists/OTO/GD/Trads just to get back some street cred and not lose the fight of survival, this time, against the revival of ancestral practices.
“Trying to control someone else’s will, as she believes Angelina is doing with her magic, won’t work”, Carrie Kirkpatrick says in her interview.
On that note, neither did Carrie’s pretentiousness, some years ago, to silence this blog.
Carrie’s warnings to Angelina are loaded with projections, like those issued against us back then. “May the goddess have mercy on you” – she wrote to us. I’ve since had time to figure even her goddess likes tongue in cheek Lokeans better than any of her humble serfs who spend their lives on their knees casting spells in her name. Carrie speaks like someone who having been scorched into accepting her Beta status even in witchcraft circles need to offload her anger and frustration on anyone she perceives to gallop their way free of reins e.g: it won’t work; you must have pure intentions; there will be consequences.
That’s another problem with fortune tellers and healers: they think everyone is cut of the same cloth of the average Joe that buys into their services.
Interference can take the form of ‘friendly advice’, ‘warning’, ‘guilt tripping’, ‘projections of failure’. There is absolutely no other motive, conscious or not, than to psychically compromise the integrity of will of another and take control. Not that it is any likely to reach all the way to Angelina and Brad anytime soon. It will, however reach a number of regular Daily Mail readers and among them, there will be plenty open to influence and just ripe for the harvest.
Because most of us choose to marry or live with a partner at one time or another, we may feel expert and confident in making judgements about other people’s relationships – regardless of how well we know them, if at all. We meet a couple and quickly diagnose who is dominant and how their partnership seems to work. And in the event their relationship breaks down, we draw on the impression we’ve formed about them to diagnose the root cause of the problem or to assign blame: she took him for granted; he never let her hang out with her friends; she’s just too outgoing for him; they never did anything together without the kids…
Of course, no matter how close we may be to another couple, we still witness only a snapshot of their relationship, and we never see how they truly function when it’s just the two of them alone, with their public guard down. Yet, with mere snippets of information and a crystal ball, there are those who give their opinion, offer advice, pronounce judgements, choose sides and use the media to draw the public in taking the same illogical leaps. Wiccan and pagandom are rife with meddlers who are toxic to people in relationships. It’s the magic – they say. Just imagine, to operate this way with people we actually know would be presumptuous, but to do so with couples we’ve never met is utterly delusional.
“But there’s no evidence that the two women have ever crossed paths, which means Kirkpatrick is drawing conclusions about someone she doesn’t actually know. And while this woman may be telling the gossip magazine that Jolie shouldn’t be doing “love spells,” this purported “witch” hasn’t actually conveyed that message to the star personally. And, of course, most important is the fact that all of these contentions about Jolie using “voodoo,” “magic spells” and “spiritual rituals” have no substantiation.
In fact, when Gossip Cop inquired with our contacts close to her, none of them wanted to dignify this report with an official response. That’s understandable given the aforementioned claptrap they also had to deal with earlier this year.”
Does it make much of a difference whether people are bound in parting with their money through subtle propaganda or a man is bound to a relationship with ashes of incinerated bats? It is absurd for the pot to think it has the right to call the kettle black.
Fortunately, functional human beings know intuitively what to do most of the time and live surrounded by a network of family and friends in whom they can confide and trust. The simple fact that there are many couples who face their challenges and overcome crises on their own is testament to the human capacity to do without psychic advisors steering their boat.